Is It Ethical to Move an Elderly Parent to a Nursing Home?

The decision to move a parent or grandparent to a nursing home is often a complex and difficult one. This article explores the ethical considerations, the current trends, and the financial realities that come into play when care for aging parents becomes necessary.

Introduction

I recently overheard a conversation that left me quite upset. The son of an elderly woman—now 100 years old—said, 'She is 100, and she needs to be in a nursing home.' The response I gave was, 'Because she is 100, really?'

Historical Context

Back in the 1940s and 1950s, when many of us were children, it was common for families to take care of their parents and grandparents at home. In Ireland, for example, this practice was considered the most humane way to care for the elderly. However, as medical advancements and social support systems have evolved, the landscape has changed significantly.

Modern Practices and Trends

Today, nursing homes are more readily available and are supported by governments in countries like the UK. This shift has made it more practical for families to place their loved ones in professional care settings. Financial support and social policies make it easier to navigate the transition to a nursing home.

My Personal Experience

Mrs. O'Malley, my mother, has Alzheimer's. The condition has advanced to a point where she can no longer care for herself. Being an only child with a full-time job in my early 50s, I am unable to fully take over her care. My mother also does not have a pension, only social security benefits, which are insufficient to cover the costs of in-home care. At present, she lives in assisted living, but within a few months, she will be moving to a memory care nursing home.

Care Costs and Financial Considerations

The decision to move a parent or grandparent to a nursing home often hinges on the financial viability of in-home care. 24/7 home healthcare can cost approximately $30,000 per month, which is significantly more than the average monthly cost for nursing homes with various levels of care, which is around $6,000. This relatively modest cost is a compelling reason for many families to consider nursing homes.

Family Dynamics and Provisions

My father, who is in good health, has made provisions for his later years by saving sufficiently for a similar living situation. He has chosen to move into an independent living complex that includes assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care facilities. His decision is influenced by his desire not to move to my state and the societal norm that many older men prefer to live with their daughters.

These family decisions and the ethical considerations surrounding them are deeply personal and often influenced by a complex interplay of financial, emotional, and practical factors. The move to a nursing home is not only about providing care but also about ensuring that the elderly can live with dignity and receive the support they need during their golden years.

As the population ages, the topic of moving elderly parents to nursing homes will continue to be a subject of much debate and reflection. It is a journey that requires empathy, understanding, and careful consideration.