Is It Appropriate to Get Your Therapist a Christmas Gift? My Experience

As a common concern for those in therapy, many clients wonder if it is appropriate to give a gift to their therapist during the holiday season. I have personally grappled with this issue and have found that the answer can indeed vary based on the type of therapist, as well as their personal preferences and boundaries.

Some therapists, particularly those working within state-funded or larger clinical settings, may have strict rules around the acceptance of gifts. However, in the case of a private practitioner, as in my experience, the dynamics can be quite different.

Accepting Gifts from My Therapist

I have decided to occasionally gift my therapist, a prescribing psychologist, despite being part of a larger organization. She accepts these offerings with grace and warmth, which has made the process easier for me.

A Customized Approach to Therapy Gifts

I have developed a personalized approach to gift-giving that reflects both cultural elements and my personal relationship with my therapist. For example, every Christmas, I bake a variety of cookies for her. Not just any cookies, but special ones that cater to her personal interests and cultural background.

Cookie Gifts for My Therapist

I bake a selection of Finnish-style cookies, reflecting my love for Finnish culture. Some of these cookies are homemade by me, while others are co-created with my Finnish teacher, who is a real Finn. The choice of cookies includes Karelian pies, homemade egg butter cinnamon rolls, and regular holiday cookies. My therapist, who has a deep appreciation for birds, enjoys bird-shaped cookies—each crafted with meticulous care, despite the time-consuming process.

As we near the end of our therapy sessions and prepare for March, I plan to gift her a small gear wheel that I’ll make in clay. Symbolically, she is a gear wheel in my life, representing the profound impact she has had on my personal transformation. The gift underscores the idea that her influence has been an essential part of my journey, making positive changes that continue to build upon each other.

I also include an origami star in the gift, which I will use to decorate the cookie bag. This small touch adds a personal and symbolic element to the offering. Additionally, I consider sending a card, although I am tentatively planning to send a postcard from Finland instead. This year, my schedule allows me to visit Finland for the first time, and I want her to feel the connection through the postcard.

The process of gifting has evolved over time. Initially, I was quite nervous about her rejecting my gift or considering it inappropriate. However, given her understanding and acceptance, the stress has diminished significantly. We have had open discussions about the appropriateness of gifts, ensuring that everyone is comfortable with the arrangement.

While this year’s gift-giving is smooth and stress-free, I am still aware of the potential for any future changes. For instance, after the final therapy session, she will receive a small package, and in 2024, I hope to resume our work once again. This contingency planning ensures that our relationship remains strong and respectful, regardless of the timing of the therapy sessions.

In conclusion, while the appropriateness of gift-giving can vary, personalized and thoughtful gifts can significantly enhance the therapeutic relationship. By understanding each other’s boundaries and preferences, it is possible to create meaningful exchanges that celebrate both cultural and personal milestones.