Is Charging Grown Children Rent and Board Teaching Them Responsibility or Just Wanting Them to Move Out?

Is it true that when a parent starts charging their grown son/daughter rent and board, they want them to move out? When a parent begins charging rent to their adult child, the underlying motives can vary widely. Sometimes it is out of necessity, while other times it is a method to instill financial responsibility. However, it is important to understand the context and reasons behind such actions, as they might not always signal a desire for the child to move away. This article explores whether charging grown children rent and board is indeed a way to teach them responsibility, and when it might actually be a form of pressure.

Teaching Responsibility

Charging rent and board to an adult child can serve as a practical means to teach them fiscal responsibility. Parents may start charging rent to help their children navigate the realities of adulthood, including rent, utilities, and other living expenses. This move can be an essential step in preparing them for the financial challenges they will face after they have left home. By covering these costs, parents are not only helping their children but also encouraging them to develop a strong sense of financial independence.

One parent states, 'No. It’s teaching responsibility. Some parents put aside that room and board and give it to their kid when he proves he’s in a healthy relationship with money. You have to force him to grow. You’re hurting him if you don’t push him to succeed without you. Push him increase his confidence.' This perspective underscores the idea that financial responsibility is closely tied to personal growth and success.

Practical Necessities

Often, charging rent and board is a response to the increasing costs of living. The cost of rent and other household expenses can soar, making it financially unsustainable for many parents to continue footing the bill for their adult children. In these cases, parents may no longer be able to afford to support their grown children, especially if they have other financial commitments or constraints. Consequently, parents may look for other living arrangements for their children, which may involve moving out or finding their ownplace.

As one parent mentions, 'Sometimes it might be because the cost of living or rent has gone way high to where parents can’t afford anymore to pay it on their own by which they will have to look for another place to live when their grown son/daughter moves out but other times it may be to teach them responsibility with managing finances... But there might be few cases out of all cases that they do that either because they want their child to move out on demand or as soon as possible or to pressure them to move out but it still teaches responsibility.' Financial necessity plays a significant role in many of these decisions, and it is important to distinguish between these cases.

Educational Context

For adult children who are still in school, charging rent and board can serve as a strategy to prepare them for future financial responsibilities. If a child plans to move to a distant university, college, or professional program, they will eventually need to manage their own rental expenses. By requiring them to cover rent and board during their current studies, parents can help establish good financial habits, budgeting, and planning skills. These skills will be invaluable when the child eventually moves away to pursue their education or career.

As one parent notes, '...if they later transfer to a university that is far if they are at the moment studying in a community college or does their vocational/trade school/graduate studies Master’s degree Ph.D Post Doc Law School Medical School etc in a university that is far from home they can’t evade having to pay rent there! No. The parent is teaching the grown child responsibility and so appreciates a little help with paying household expenses.' This statement highlights the long-term benefits of such actions, as it prepares the child for the challenges they will face in the future.

Creating Independence

Charging rent and board can also serve as a means to create a more independent living situation for adult children. By having them contribute to household expenses, parents encourage their children to take on more responsibility and manage their own finances. While some children may initially resent this arrangement, over time, they will likely appreciate the opportunity to build independence and manage their own lives more effectively.

Another parent shares, 'After they turn 18 you can charge them room and board. You can also have them do certain chores around the house for room and board too.' This approach not only teaches responsibility but also fosters a sense of mutual benefit and fairness within the family.

Conclusion

In conclusion, charging grown children rent and board is often a method used to teach financial responsibility and prepare them for the complexities of adulthood. While in some cases, parents might have a genuine desire to encourage their children to move out, in other situations, it is a practical need driven by rising costs and the importance of cultivating independence. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that the child can navigate the financial landscape with confidence and competence, setting them up for success in all aspects of their life.

Keywords: charging grown children rent, teaching responsibility, moving out