Can People with NPD Be Very Impatient?

Yes, individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can exhibit high levels of impatience. This impatience often stems from their need for immediate gratification and a tendency to expect others to meet their needs and desires without delay. People with NPD may become frustrated or irritated when things do not go their way, or when they perceive that others are not giving them the attention or respect they believe they deserve. This can manifest in various situations, including personal relationships and professional settings where they may have little tolerance for delays or perceived slights.

Understanding Impatience in NPD Individuals

Impatience in individuals with NPD is a complex phenomenon that is deeply rooted in their underlying psychological symptoms. Those with NPD often have an inflated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy for others. These traits can lead to expectations that others should cater to their needs immediately and without question.

Need for Immediate Gratification

The need for immediate gratification is a hallmark of NPD. People with this disorder often seek instant rewards and recognition, and any delay in achieving these goals can lead to intense frustration and impatience. For instance, if someone with NPD is waiting for a response from a colleague or a partner, they may become agitated if the response is delayed, often interpreting it as a sign of disrespect or an attempt to avoid their demands.

Expectation of Attention and Respect

Another key factor contributing to impatience in NPD individuals is their expectation of constant attention and respect from others. If others do not immediately cater to their needs or show the level of respect they deem necessary, they may react with hostility or irritation. This can be seen in both personal and professional settings. In a restaurant, for example, an NPD individual may become impatient if the waitstaff does not immediately attend to them, as they may feel that the waitstaff is undervaluing their importance.

Impatience: A Case Study

The following case study provides a firsthand account of impatience in individuals with NPD, as shared by someone who was previously in a relationship with such a person. This testimony highlights the specific manifestations of impatience in practical scenarios.

Case Study: Experiences with Impatience

My ex-partner was incredibly impatient, especially when he felt like he wasn’t a waiter’s top priority in a restaurant. He took it very personally when it took a bit longer for his drink or food to arrive. As if the waiter did it on purpose and thereby didn’t acknowledge his importance. This occurred during one of our first dates, where we had lunch in a restaurant. This restaurant consisted of two or three huge rooms, and in one of them, people from a wedding were having lunch. Despite us knowing it would likely be busy, it didn’t take that long for our food. However, my ex nearly lost it. He told me he’d tell the waiter off and I had to persuade him to remain quiet because it was obviously not the waiter’s fault. Even though the waiter was visibly stressed and constantly working, my ex kept glaring at him.

Another instance occurred during a holiday when we visited a restaurant. The waitress was very friendly and chatty. The next day, we returned for dinner, and the same waitress served us but wasn’t as chatty. I didn’t think much of it; it wasn’t like she was our friend and I figured she was either busy, not in the mood to chat, or simply had other or better things to do. However, my ex could barely handle it and said she was so rude. This highlights how small perceived slights can trigger intense impatience and frustration in NPD individuals.

Implications and Impact

The constant state of impatience can strain relationships and professional interactions. It can create a hostile and unpredictable dynamic where the individual with NPD is perpetually on edge, reacting unpredictably to minor delays or perceived slights.

Strain on Relationships

In personal relationships, the need for immediate attention and recognition can lead to frequent misunderstandings and conflicts. Romantic partners, friends, and family members may struggle to satisfy the constant demands and expectations, leading to frustration and disappointment. The inability to tolerate delays or perceived insensitivity can result in breakdowns in communication and emotional disconnection.

Impact on Professional Environments

In professional settings, the impatience of individuals with NPD can manifest in a lack of patience with colleagues or clients. This can create an uncomfortable and unproductive work environment, where demands are made without consideration for the efforts of others. Such behavior may also lead to misunderstandings and conflicts within the workplace, ultimately affecting productivity and team cohesion.

Conclusion

Individuals with NPD can indeed exhibit very high levels of impatience. This impatience is often a result of their need for immediate gratification and their expectation that others should cater to their needs without reservation. While it is challenging to live with or work alongside someone with NPD, understanding the underlying psychological factors and manifestations of impatience can help in developing strategies to navigate and manage these dynamics.

For more information on NPD and related topics, please refer to the following resources:

Psychology Today: Narcissistic Personality Disorder Mayo Clinic: Narcissistic Personality Disorder NAMI: Narcissistic Personality Disorder