How to Stop Seeking Approval from Others and Embrace True Confidence
Psychology teaches us that true self-confidence is a powerful tool in personal growth and success. When we rely on others for approval, we often undermine our own efforts and block our path to achieving our goals. This article will explore strategies and insights to help you develop self-assurance and move away from seeking external validation.
The Importance of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is the foundation of personal empowerment. It is the confidence in your own decisions, choices, and actions without the need for external validation. Once you understand that your life is a reflection of your thoughts, actions, and decisions, you needn't wait for others to approve before moving forward. Instead, you take control and make choices that align with your values and desires.
Do you really ask others for permission to drink water or eat a meal? Probably not. These are necessities for survival and part of your daily routine. Similarly, you should not ask for others' approval for the choices you make in life. It is your life, and you have the autonomy to make your own decisions. Self-confidence allows you to trust yourself and your judgments, and it is a crucial step toward success and fulfillment.
Developing Your Plan
To foster confidence, it is important to have a clear vision of the goals you wish to achieve. Develop a list of accomplishments you wish to achieve, and create a step-by-step plan for each goal. Setting and achieving small objectives will help you build momentum and boost your self-esteem. Celebrate every milestone achieved, no matter how small, to motivate yourself and stay on track.
Embracing True Self-Appreciation
Self-appreciation is the recognition of one's own worth and accomplishments without the need for external validation. By valuing yourself and your efforts, you can shift the focus from seeking approval to achieving personal satisfaction. Recognize and acknowledge your achievements, and celebrate them with self-appreciation and self-love. This mindset change can lead to a greater sense of dignity and humility.
The Role of Seeking Validation
While it is natural to seek some degree of approval from others, relying heavily on it can be detrimental to your mental health. If you find yourself constantly seeking validation, it might be a sign that you need to work on your self-acceptance. A sense of self-appreciation and self-worth can provide the acceptance you seek internally.
The Bible, in the story of Cain and Abel, echoes this message: 'If you do well will you not be accepted?' When you do well, you should be accepted for who you are. However, as we grow older, we become more consistent in our efforts. Even then, others may not fully understand the effort you put into something, so their opinion may not be as qualified. Sharing your achievements is more about being sociable than seeking validation.
My journey to true self-confidence was not overnight. After being bullied in school, I learned the importance of focusing on my own well-being and fairness. Physical fitness has had a positive impact on my mindset, acting as a shortcut to mental health. Interactions with customers have taught me that the same product can evoke vastly different reactions, but what matters is how you feel about what you are doing. Embrace your journey without expectation of external validation.
Lastly, as Rudyard Kipling wrote in 'If', 'If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those 2 imposters just the same', you are on the path to true confidence. Face life's challenges with equanimity, accepting both success and failure as part of your journey.