How to Order Non-Alcoholic Drinks Discretely as a Bartender-Approved Guide

How to Order Non-Alcoholic Drinks Discretely as a Bartender-Approved Guide

As a professional bartender, have you ever faced the dilemma of ordering a non-alcoholic drink without drawing unnecessary attention or being misunderstood? It's quite a common scenario, especially in bustling social settings where alcoholic beverages are the norm. This guide offers valuable insights and tips on how to make those orders smoothly and discreetly.

Techniques for Making Clear and Obvious Requests

When you clearly and straightforwardly state what you want, it minimizes the chances of misunderstandings. Politely informing the bartender or server about your preference for a non-alcoholic drink leaves no room for confusion. This approach not only enhances the efficiency of your order but also maintains a friendly and respectful relationship with the service staff.

Seductive Substitutions: A Bartender's Perspective

Interestingly, sometimes using a seductive or subtle approach can achieve the opposite of the intended effect. For instance, a customer asked for a 'Vin Robinet.' While it sounds sophisticated, it might lead to confusion. If the bartender is wine-savvy, they might think it refers to a 'vino' marketed by Joe Biden using his middle name. Conversely, a French-speaking bartender might correctly identify it as 'wine from a faucet,' which is simply tap water!

The Classic Cop-out: Tap Water

One of the simplest ways to discreetly order a non-alcoholic drink is to request tap water. This method works across different cultures and regions. It's straightforward and avoids any potential awkwardness.

Popular Non-Alcoholic Drink Alternatives

There are several other non-alcoholic options that can blend in seamlessly, depending on your location and the specific scene. When ordering, you might try:

Dark Colored Soda: Order a soda in a drink glass. This can feign as an alcoholic beverage, helping you dodge unwanted pressure. Make sure to nurse your drink so it remains perpetually half full. Non-Alcoholic Bottles: Many bars and pubs offer non-alcoholic bottled drinks like tonic, Perrier, or a caffeine-free soda. Specialty Non-Alcoholics: Some places stock NA beers. You could order one of these in a mug, pretending it's a regular tap beer.

Tips for Bartenders and Servers

As a bartender or server, understanding the requests of patrons is crucial. Here are some tips on how to handle such orders:

Confidentiality: Be discreet and avoid blurting your customer's order out loud. Communicate directly with the bar staff or kitchen to ensure the order is executed without fanfare. Making It Seem Valid: Offer a refill casually, saying "nother one" instead of "more coke," to maintain the appearance of an ongoing drink. Encouraging Discreet Orders: Create a comfortable environment where customers can order non-alcoholic drinks without feeling judged or singled out.

Conclusion: The Bartender's Perspective

Understanding the preferences of non-drinkers is a crucial aspect of bartending. As a bartender, you face unique challenges such as customers who are under pressure to drink. Offering subtle and discreet options not only respects their choices but also enhances the overall experience for everyone in the venue. Whether it's a simple tap water request or a more sophisticated dark-colored soda, the key is to make the order clear and respected.

Additional Tips for Order Clarity

To further ensure clarity, some additional tips include:

Ask for a Simplified Order: Request a basic drink, such as 'a glass of water' or 'a soda,' and avoid complex requests that might be misinterpreted. Use Non-Specific Names: Instead of specific drink names that might be misunderstood, ask for 'a clear soda' or 'one of your lightest drinks.' Educate Your Staff: Train your team on customer preferences and create a quick, non-verbal system to handle such orders discreetly.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is it rude to order a non-alcoholic drink?

A: Not at all. Ordering a non-alcoholic drink is a personal choice and should be respected.

Q: Can I ask for a non-alcoholic drink without making a big deal?

A: Yes, you can. Using the tips in this guide, you can make your order discreet and non-confrontational.

Q: What should I do if the bartender asks 'why not a drink?'

A: You can explain that you don't enjoy alcohol or that it makes you uncomfortable. Being honest and polite is the key.