How to Keep Your Relationship Feeling 'In Love'
Breaking up and starting over is often seen as a solution for feeling unfulfilled in a relationship. However, this approach does not address the underlying emotional patterns and self-reflection that can truly enhance your connection. While the initial 'in love' phase is indeed a short-term biochemical phenomenon, it’s crucial to understand that lasting happiness comes from within, not from external distractions.
Understanding the Science of 'In Love'
When we fall deeply and quickly 'in love', our brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that gives us a feeling of excitement and pleasure. But as time passes, and our brain adjusts to the newness, this feeling diminishes. Similarly, feelings related to wealth, fame, and power are transient and can quickly become a source of anxiety if we fear losing them.
The key to maintaining a relationship that feels 'in love' is to work on internal emotional patterns that are largely subconscious. These patterns are shaped by self-statements, assumptions, and interpretations we make about ourselves and our partners. Changing these patterns requires conscious effort and a deep understanding of one's own emotions.
Breaking the Cycle of External Distractions
Many people turn to external distractions, such as new relationships, to fend off the discontent they experience inside. This temporary fix only leads to a cycle of short-term satisfaction and long-term dissatisfaction. To truly be happy in a relationship, one must learn to focus on what feeds into their own brain, rather than constantly looking outside for happiness.
Here are some practical suggestions to enhance your relationship and keep it feeling 'in love':
Take a Break from Work and Reconnect
Scheduling a break, such as planning a second, third, or fourth honeymoon, can be a wonderful way to reconnect with your partner and recapture those initial feelings. Even in the absence of travel, simply spending quality time together can revitalize your relationship. Trust me, you will rediscover those feelings and strengthen your bond once again.
Live Separately for Several Months
Living separately for three months and then reuniting can also introduce a new dynamic into your relationship. If it doesn’t excite you or feel new at that point, it may be time to explore other options. This period apart can help you both appreciate each other more and rekindle the initial excitement.
Show Genuine Affection and Respect
Instead of forcing your partner into uncomfortable situations, show genuine affection and respect for your spouse's preferences. If she enjoys flowers, dinners, or walks, make those happen. Being romantic and thoughtful will go a long way towards maintaining a strong emotional connection that feels 'in love'. Your actions will help build a foundation of trust and mutual understanding, which is the bedrock of any healthy relationship.
In conclusion, the key to maintaining a relationship that feels 'in love' is to focus on internal emotional patterns and self-reflection. By understanding and working with these patterns, you can create a lasting and fulfilling connection with your partner. Remember, lasting happiness comes from within, and valuing each other's emotions and needs is the path to a truly 'in love' relationship.