How Can The Conservatives Win the 2024 General Election?

As the political climate heats up in anticipation of the 2024 general election, one might wonder if the Conservative Party (often referred to as the Tories) can find a way to secure a victory. Current polling suggests a monumental challenge for the party, with predictions indicating a significant loss of parliamentary seats. However, there are several strategies they could employ to retain or even increase their support.

Theoretical Winning Strategies

To explore the viability of the Conservative Party’s chances, let's examine a series of hypothetical winning strategies. These strategies range from controversial legal changes to more sophisticated political maneuvers. The examination of these approaches not only highlights the challenges but also delves into the complex interplay of politics, public opinion, and legal frameworks.

Updating Voter ID Laws

The Conservative Party could leverage a controversial amendment to voter ID laws to secure an advantage. Some suggestions include:

Only those who voted Conservative in the last three elections can vote in the upcoming election. Only individuals earning over ￡250k per year will be allowed to vote. Only those with double-barrelled names and titles can vote. Voter ID laws could be updated to require a photograph of the voter's house with a St. George’s Flag outside it. Only members of the Conservative party can vote.

While such measures may appear drastic and divisive, they are worth considering within the framework of aggressive political tactics. The key to these strategies is the capacity to disenfranchise a significant portion of the electorate, leading to a more supportive, but fractionally smaller voting base.

Realistic Strategies for Success

Unfortunately, these radical measures are not feasible. Public opinion increasingly favors inclusivity and fairness. Moreover, the legal and ethical implications of such moves would lead to significant backlash, potentially undermining any gains made by leveraging these strategies. Instead, realistic strategies should focus on:

The Squash and a Squeeze Strategy

Similar to the political book 'Make it shit for years, then suddenly make it a little less shit,' the Conservatives could adopt a message of incremental improvement over a period of time. They would tout significant investments into public services, particularly the NHS, roads, and housing, contingent on a Conservative victory. This "rain before the rainbow" approach aims to exploit public sentiment and create a sense of urgency and hope.

The Scary Spice Strategy

The Conservatives could leverage fear to mobilize their base. Tactics might include emphasizing the alleged threats from mass immigration, stating that under Labour, immigrants would steal jobs and corrupt public life. Horror stories about Koi ponds being invaded by immigrants and images of foreign criminals could be used to gain support. This approach relies heavily on emotional manipulation and polarizing rhetoric to mobilize a core vote.

The Squash the Vote Strategy

Another real strategy could involve timing the election to coincide with university vacations. This would make it difficult for students to vote, reducing their participation. Additionally, the Conservatives could "strengthen" voter ID laws, causing problems with free registration websites and delaying the delivery of voter ID cards. Such tactics were observed in a previous local election, and the government's track record in handling such issues is known.

Conclusion

While the Conservative Party faces significant challenges in the 2024 general election, there are strategies that could potentially secure their victory. However, these strategies must be carefully considered in light of the political climate and public opinion. Realistic and ethical approaches may be more effective in the long run, as they focus on delivering tangible benefits and creating a coherent narrative that resonates with a broader audience.