Harsh Realities: A Barber’s Meanest Comments on Natural Hair
As someone raised in a biracial household, my journey to understanding and caring for my natural hair has been both enlightening and challenging. Born with a white father and a mother who had natural hair relaxed and later wore wigs, I was thrust into the world of natural hair care at a young age.
Growing up, I primarily used ‘white’ hair products as I had no alternative and my mother did not deal with natural hair. Being the only black kid in an upper-class white school, I faced constant ridicule and discrimination. My hair, described as dry, weak, and frizzy, became the target of my peers. Despite my love for my curls, the daily bullying urged me to experiment and find what worked for my hair.
By the age of 12, I had discovered that my hair thrived on oils and required less shampoo and products with specific ingredients. My hair became shiny, thick, and frizz-free. However, hair discrimination continued, catalyzed by the newfound obsession with straightened hair. As a gesture of capitulation, my mother took me to a local hair salon during one of my straightening attempts.
A day full of excitement awaited me, but the anticipation was overshadowed by the attitude of the stylist. From the first conversation, it was clear she had little patience or respect for me. Our exchange went as follows:
Her: What do you put in your hair?
Me: Coconut oil and styling products.
Her: Well, you need to change something. It’s really DRY. Not good at all.
Me: Um, what products would you recommend?
Her: It’s DRY. I’m going to need to cut a lot.
Her words left me confused and hurt. I felt that my hair was healthy, yet she viewed it as problematic. Looking back, I realized the stylist's behavior was influenced by the pervasive issue of colorism within the black community. This is an internalized form of racism that values lighter skin tones over darker ones, often leading to discrimination in beauty standards.
Colorism can be seen in the media and pop culture as well, where lighter-skinned individuals like Beyoncé and Zendaya are often more glorified compared to their darker-skinned counterparts such as SZA and Lupita Nyong’o. The stylist was likely struggling with similar internalized beliefs, reflecting the negative attitudes she had been exposed to in her life.
While I initially felt angry about the experience, I have since forgiven the stylist. Her harsh words were a reflection of the skewed beauty standards and the impact of colorism, rather than her true character. I hope that she has found peace with herself, and that the issue of colorism becomes more prevalent in the black community to facilitate a more inclusive and fair beauty standard for all.
This experience taught me the importance of self-love and the need to challenge societal beauty norms. It is a reminder that everyone, regardless of their skin tone, deserves to be celebrated for their unique beauty.