Guiding Children to Respond Respectfully When Asking About Disabilities

When a child asks about a person with a disability or disfigurement, it is crucial for parents to address the matter sensitively and appropriately. This response should be tailored to the child's age and understanding level, providing a balanced mix of information and practical advice.

Communicating with Your Child

Parents should discuss the matter privately and in a manner that aligns with the child's developmental stage. The explanation should be simple and straightforward, without going into extensive details. It is important to gauge the child's interest and adjust your approach accordingly, ensuring the discussion remains light, natural, and engaging.

For example, you could say, 'Let's talk about that person. It's okay to ask questions, but we should always be kind and respectful. Can you tell me what you noticed and what you're curious about?' This approach helps the child understand that it's normal to ask questions, but also emphasizes the importance of treating everyone with dignity and respect.

Responding Appropriately in Different Situations

While explaining to your child, it's helpful to provide practical examples of appropriate and inappropriate settings. For instance, if you're waiting for a bus, it's fine to discuss the person's appearance or disability as everyone is accessible and in a public setting. However, if the person is hurrying down a sidewalk, it would be best to wait for a more appropriate time.

Parents often wonder if it's okay to tell their child to ask the person directly about their disability. Generally, this is a good approach, especially if the person seems comfortable and willing to share information. However, if the person appears to be unfazed by the interaction or seems to be in a hurry, it's best to respect their comfort and wait for a more suitable time or setting.

Personal Experiences and Advice

Individuals with disabilities share their personal experiences to offer guidance and encouragement. Take the example of being blind. Many blind individuals, like myself, find it important to answer children's questions openly and honestly. One of the most valuable lessons we can impart is that everyone is 'just plain folks' and should be treated with equal respect and kindness.

I always make it a point to answer children's questions because it helps promote a more inclusive and understanding society. If a child asks, 'So, you're blind... can you even watch TV?' I respond in a way that clarifies misconceptions, such as, 'Yes, we can watch TV, but our experience might be different. Instead of seeing images, we hear descriptions. But it's still a meaningful experience.'

Inclusive Education and Building Friendships

It is essential to teach children that people with disabilities, just like those without, are individuals who should be treated with respect and included in all activities. For instance, when my nieces ask about people with disabilities, I encourage them to view everyone as 'just different' from them, in a positive and affirming way.

To foster a more inclusive environment, special educational programs like 'Best Buddies' have been developed. These programs match students with disabilities with non-disabled peers, promoting friendship and understanding. In my experience, such programs have been incredibly beneficial in helping both children and adults see past differences and recognize common humanity.

Remember, telling children, 'Would you want dozens of yourself around you? You would eventually get tired of yourself,' can be a powerful reminder of our shared humanity and the importance of embracing diversity. By fostering this understanding, we can create a more accepting and inclusive world for everyone.

Remember that every child is unique, and each interaction should be tailored to meet their individual needs. With guidance and patience, we can raise a generation that is compassionate, understanding, and respectful of everyone, regardless of their abilities or appearance.