Frequency of Contact with Parents as Grown Adults: A Guide

For many grown adults, maintaining a consistent relationship with parents can be a challenging yet rewarding endeavor. How often should you talk to your parents? This question often arises based on personal preferences and the nature of the relationship. It's important to remember that the frequency of contact is not about fulfilling an obligation, but rather about enriching and respecting the relationship.

Respecting the Relationship

It is crucial to approach the idea of contact with your parents from a positive perspective. It is about what you want for them and for yourself. If you are busy, a simple call may suffice. Many people choose to call their parents out of respect for their relationship, even when they cannot visit in person.

For instance, I used to call my parents every 2-3 days when I could not visit them. When we lived apart, we spoke weekly. I respected that they lived far from me and it made them happy. Maintaining this practice helped me fulfill my obligation to love them, even amidst life's complexities. However, if a parent is deceased, the emotional process may be different, and it is important to handle it with care and respect.

Situational Dynamics

Situations can affect the frequency of communication. For my mother, who was away at college, she called her parents every day. This level of contact was essential to her because of the distance and separation. However, for some parents and children, this might be too frequent, and they may prefer less contact.

Those with a strong bond with their parents are more likely to maintain a high frequency of contact. On the other hand, a severed relationship may result in less frequent or even no contact at all. It's important to respect the boundaries and comfort levels of all involved.

Personal Experience and Preferences

Everyone's answer to this question will differ based on their personal experiences and preferences. For instance, I see my parents once a week for Sunday lunch and probably call about twice a week. However, I almost text every day. My adult children and I use WhatsApp, text, video calls, or Facebook Messenger for communication, and we occasionally email. It's about what works for the individuals involved.

It's crucial to remember that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the frequency of contact. Some people prefer to phone their parents daily, while others might only do so once or twice a week, and some might be content with less frequent contact. What matters is that all parties are comfortable with the chosen method of communication.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the frequency of contact with your grown adult parents should be based on mutual respect and comfort. Whether it's a daily call, a weekly text, or a monthly visit, the most important thing is that it's a meaningful and respectful interaction. It's a personal journey, and there are no 'shoulds' in this relationship. It's all about what works best for you and your parents, and ensuring that you both feel valued and loved.