Facing the Unknown: A Journey through Fear of Success and Failure

Throughout my life, I've grappled with the complexities of fear, particularly regarding success and failure. It's not a straightforward fear of either outcome; rather, it's a deep-seated fear of the unknown and the uncertainty that comes with them.

Prepare for the Unknown

I tend to procrastinate because I am meticulously preparing for every possible scenario - both success and failure. This approach can be proactive in situations like pricing for insurance products, risk management, and data analysis. However, it can also lead to stress and anxiety. For instance, when I was working on pricing for insurance products, doing risk management, and conducting data analysis, I found that preparing for potential outcomes helped me manage the complexities of my work.

Change, Success, and Failure

I am not particularly fearful of change. Instead, I find change invigorating and embrace it with enthusiasm. While I don't particularly like failure, I am more focused on success than on avoiding it. Success on my terms, however, remains the ultimate goal. Last year, after years of health struggles, I found answers and embarked on a new path. This experience highlighted the importance of preparing for success and facing failure head-on.

The Public Speaking Experience

One pivotal moment in my journey was my public speaking experience at the A4M anti-aging regenerative medicine conference in May 2014. As a vendor with no inventory, my goal was simple: to initiate conversations with medical professionals. My fear of public speaking led me to prepare extensively, but it also created anxiety. As the day of my presentation approached, I felt a wave of anxiety. However, when it was time to speak, I was greeted by an overwhelming response from attendees. I was struck by the attention and the questions I received, which made me feel both honored and a bit overwhelmed. The unexpected success was daunting, and the pressure of being perceived as brilliant created doubts. This encounter taught me the value of facing fears head-on and the importance of understanding and accepting my own capabilities.

Lessons Learned and Future Steps

The experience at the conference was a turning point in my journey. It revealed the importance of mental preparation when facing success on a large scale. I realized that success can be overwhelming, and I needed to be ready to handle it. Over the next five years, I delved deeper into understanding how to achieve success on my terms. Now, as I prepare to step back into the public eye, I am equipped with a clearer understanding of my capabilities and the origins of my fears. Success is not the ultimate goal; it is the only outcome because if I fail, it means I didn't follow through.

For now, I am focused on understanding and addressing my fears. I face them head-on, seeking to find the root of the fear and overcome it. Success, whether on a small or large scale, remains my ultimate goal. I am ready for what this journey needs to be and am taking the necessary steps to make it happen.

Keywords: fear of success, fear of failure, overcoming fears