Facing Challenges at 16: Psychological Support and Strategies

Hey hey!!!

I want to share some things with you addressing what you’ve said. I hope it helps you however you need!

Encouragement and Perspective

To begin with, I really want to encourage you that at 17 you’re still really young and you haven’t entered adulthood yet. You haven’t failed at life because you’ve barely started it…you have so much more to do live and experience than you have in the 17 years you’ve lived! You have potential opportunity and an entire lifetime ahead of you!! Don’t give up because the first two decades have been hard or painful.

Understanding Your Feelings

Now I don't really know your circumstances or situation or what you've been through in your life so if you want more specific advice, I'd probably hesitate unless I had some specifics from you. If you want to share more and feel comfortable doing that, you can. However, for now, what I'll share with you will just be a combination of my experiences and what I've learned along the journey.

So to get started, I’m just wondering how “sad” you're feeling. Do you think this is a depressive type of sadness or just simply being sad because of life circumstances? Sometimes depressive emotions like apathy, anxiety, euphoria, and sadness can be caused physiologically and are pretty much out of your control – not caused by your experiences so much as chemical imbalances. This is definitely not always the case, but it is something to think about. When did you start feeling sad, and do you think it’s a ‘normal’ level or experience of sadness?

Seeking Professional Guidance

If you really think it's because of your circumstances, I would still recommend that if the sadness is really bad and affecting your life, you get some guidance from a counselor. They are highly experienced and professional and will be able to figure out if what you're going through can be attributed to physiological or cognitive malfunctions – sometimes, it can be both!

I know the word “therapist” can have negative connotations, and it can feel weird or weak asking for help, but it isn’t! And remember, that's why they're there! They studied for about five to six years to be able to do this and they want to help you! Finding the right professional is important, so find someone you think you'll be comfortable with… and remember, you're just wanting to make sure you're not needing medical help. This doesn't have to be a therapy session if you don’t want it to be, so just think about it as a medical check-up.

Understanding Your Feelings of Being Over: Too Late

Another thing I was wondering about from what you said was: what makes you feel it's too late. If I were to guess, I would probably say it’s a combination of feeling like you’re a failure, like you can't redeem your life, and that your dreams are unattainable and might even feel non-existent to you. I want to tell you that IT'S NOT TOO LATE!! I'm not too much a fan of the cliche "it's never too late" because sometimes I think it can encourage procrastination, but I do agree with the concept – because until we die, it’s NEVER too late.

M maybe I can give you a personal example. Thinking about my faith in Jesus, it would never have been too late to put my trust in Him until my life ended. That door was always open! And in the same way, it will never be too late for you. You’re living and breathing, and that means it's not too late!

What You Can Do

You also asked specifically what you could do. Again, I can share specific advice if I know more about your circumstances but I understand you might not be comfortable with that, so here are some things you might find helpful:

Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Firstly, I would always advocate for a healthy lifestyle. I think sometimes we underestimate how much our lifestyle choices can affect our mental health. A healthy lifestyle includes important things like healthy and nutritious eating, regular exercise, and alone time AND positive social time. Other positive additives can be music, nature, watching a movie with family, writing, or baking. These are all up to you and your unique interests and personality.

A healthy lifestyle also includes HEALTHY friendships. Toxic friendships and relationships can not only affect your mental health TODAY but they can also cause lasting emotional scarring for life. Be careful and wise with who you allow into your heart and make sure you know you can trust them with it. Try to remove all negative additives from your lifestyle like unhealthy habits, excessive screen time, social media scrolling, and negative friendships.

Seeking Support

All these things can really affect you and how your mind functions and can have a significant impact on your mental health. For example, bananas have magnesium, so eating a banana before bed can help you with night-time anxiety. In that way, your diet can affect how you function and feel.

Something else I would really advise you to do is TALK and TALK AND TALK. Find someone you can talk to who listens well and whom you can trust. Find a mentor who can be there for support, even if it's just in the background of your life, and it will really help you. The maxim 'no man is an island' is true; we were made for companionship and relationship, so remember to stay plugged in socially, even when there are times you may not feel like it.

Addressing Self-Talk

And listen to your self-talk. I think it's harmful to shut up self-talk because repression is unhealthy. Being 'bottled up' won't help as much as confronting it with the truth. For example, if you keep telling yourself you are a failure, trying to ignore those feelings won't help as much as confronting them, figuring out why you feel that way, and telling yourself the truth instead of negative self-talk. This is much more healthy than shutting yourself up, and it allows you to move forward.

Encouragement for the Future

Lastly, I really want to encourage you with one final thought. Every life is beautiful and has meaning. You were created for a purpose…don't lose heart! Life may be hard, but I believe that you can keep walking.

I'm so happy you reached out and shared how you're feeling. I think that's a really helpful start and a great first step in your journey. I don't know if anything I've said is helpful to you, but I really want to encourage you. Keep going!! And if you can't root for yourself, know that I'm rooting for you!