Exploring the Causes of Chronic Loneliness and Understanding Normalcy

Feeling alone all the time is a deeply painful experience. It can stem from a variety of complex and often intertwined factors. One example from history sheds light on how isolation can lead to dire consequences. Our great uncle served in the Mediterranean and Europe during World War I. To cope with the horrors of combat, many soldiers turned to heavy drinking. Sadly, this coping mechanism led our great uncle to neglect his personal well-being, eventually leaving him alone and alcoholic in a big city. Despite his return, no one knew his whereabouts, reflecting the profound impact of long-term isolation.

Manipulative Relationships

Loneliness can also be caused by manipulative relationships. Such relationships involve individuals who:

Attempt to control you. Insult you. Gaslight you. Learn your secrets. Use them to ridicule and humiliate you.

These individuals may financially abuse you, justify their actions as 'karma,' and leave you alone and vulnerable. They surround you with 'flying monkeys,' or secondary abusers, to prevent you from regaining happiness. They might even take advantage of your deceased parents' belongings or money, leaving you with a hollow sense of loss.

Root Causes of Loneliness

While the reasons for chronic loneliness can be numerous and varied, they often stem from fundamental issues like:

Suffering and Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem may believe they are unworthy of attention or respect, leading to isolation and chronic loneliness. This belief can be particularly harmful even if surrounded by others or a loving family. Internal Void or Emptiness: Experiencing a deep sense of loneliness might be due to an internal void or feeling 'alone in seeing suffering,' even if others are around, leading to a sense of isolation. Superficial Connections: A lack of real, deeper connections can result in chronic loneliness, as superficial interactions do not fulfill the human need for meaningful connections.

Impact of Life Events

Certain life events or experiences can exacerbate feelings of loneliness:

Bereavement: The loss of a loved one can leave a profound void in one's life. Relationship Breakups: The end of a relationship can result in loneliness, especially if sudden or unexpected. Retirement: Leaving the work environment and routine can lead to a sense of loss and isolation. Changing Jobs: Moving to a new workplace can be challenging, especially if one dislikes the new environment. Starting University: Leaving home and being in a new environment can be isolating for many students. Mental Health Issues: Disorders like depression and anxiety can significantly contribute to feelings of loneliness. Becoming a Parent: New parents can experience loneliness, especially if they feel misunderstood or unsupported by their social circles. Moving to a New Area or Country: Starting over in a new place can be lonely without family, friends, or a supportive community.

Normalcy of Loneliness: It is important to understand that feeling lonely at times is natural. However, chronic loneliness—feeling alone all the time—can be a serious issue and should not be dismissed.

Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can help address and manage feelings of chronic loneliness. Joining groups or activities where shared interests can be explored can also aid in building meaningful connections.