Understanding Entitlement Issues
Entitlement issues are often misunderstood and can be attributed to various underlying factors. In this article, we will explore how entitlement develops, drawing from personal accounts and observations to provide a clearer understanding of this complex issue.
The Case of a Narcissistic Father
The phenomenon of entitlement is not just an isolated case but often stems from a combination of societal, familial, and psychological factors. For many individuals, the roots of their entitlement issues can be traced back to early life experiences. In one personal account, a man describes his father as having significant entitlement issues stemming from his childhood. His father, being born as the youngest of eight siblings, had unique experiences that profoundly shaped his worldview.
During his early years, the father had the special role of being 'Chief of the Children' in the African jungles of Angola. This unique position, marked by a sense of authority and protection, instilled in him a sense of importance that extended into his later life. Later, he inherited the family wealth and used it to buy a luxurious beach house in Southern California. These experiences contributed to his feeling of unwarranted privilege and a belief that he was entitled to more than others.
Narcissism and Entitlement
Narcissism, a personality trait characterized by an extreme level of self-centeredness and egotism, often underpins entitlement issues. The father's self-centered nature was evident in how he identified himself. He liked to present himself as a successful international businessman and a physical laborer. His ability to relate to historical figures, such as the deaf craftsman who built Nile sailboats, and his meetings with influential figures like the Shah of Iran, demonstrate his knack for self-aggrandizement.
However, his behavior didn't extend to investing time and energy into teaching his children his skills. This neglect of parental responsibility and lack of guidance further exacerbated his children's sense of entitlement. Additionally, his history of cheating on his wives shows a lack of integrity and responsibility, traits that are antithetical to healthy relationship dynamics.
The Case of Donald Trump Jr. (DJT)
The story of Donald Trump Jr. (DJT) presents another compelling case study of entitlement. The family's influence and wealth played a significant role in shaping DJT's beliefs about the world.
According to reports, DJT's older brother, Fred Trump Jr., initially refused to be a part of their father's property-lending business. This refusal was met with severe punishment, leading to Fred's eventual self-destruction. DJT, on the other hand, embraced his father's teachings, learning that individuals who are seen as 'losers' or 'suckers' often fail to recognize their own shortcomings. This viewpoint was instrumental in his rise to prominence in business and politics.
DJT's story highlights how wealthy families can inadvertently foster a sense of entitlement in their children. The support and resources provided by his father, despite the negative effects, contributed to his belief that he could achieve success through manipulation and exploitation.
The Case of a College Roommate
Personal anecdotes also provide valuable insights into the development of entitlement issues. One college roommate's mother consistently fought his battles for him, preventing him from taking responsibility for his actions. I remember calling him for his portion of the rent, and his mother would not let me speak to him directly.
This behavior created a pattern of dependency and a sense of unearned privilege. Over time, the roommate developed an attitude of entitlement, believing that others should cater to his needs and expectations simply because he existed. This led to a snowball effect, where his mother's interference and his own passive behavior contributed to his lack of responsibility and self-sufficiency.
When confronted, his mother was unyielding, stating, 'He will never amount to anything if you don’t let him take responsibility for his own actions.' This harsh reality eventually forced me to leave the situation. I couldn't continue shouldering the burden of his inactions.
The case of this roommate underscores the detrimental impact of parents who enable and shelter their children, fostering a culture of entitlement.
Conclusion
Entitlement issues, rooted in childhood experiences and influenced by family dynamics and societal expectations, can have far-reaching consequences. By recognizing these underlying factors, individuals and families can take steps to address and mitigate such issues, fostering healthier and more responsible behaviors.