Embracing and Cherishing Funeral Experiences: A Path to Understanding and Connection
Have you ever wondered if attending so many funerals or wakes can make you numb to the profound emotions and connections they represent? In my experience, the number of close friends and family funerals I have attended has not desensitized me to the years I spent with loved ones. On the contrary, it has deepened my understanding and appreciation of life and loss.
Normalizing the Unusual
It's been entirely normal for me to sing at numerous funerals I didn't personally know the deceased. In fact, I love the experience. Singing at funerals can be a beautiful and cathartic way to honor the memory of someone while bringing comfort to others. These are not just gatherings to recognize death; they are opportunities to celebrate and share the love we held for the deceased.
Personal Experiences
As of now, I have attended two funeral services for family members: my grandmother and my uncle. While attending these funerals, the emotional impact was profound. However, it was my grandmother's wake that truly resonated with me. The funeral experience, at least when it comes to my grandmother, was filled with sadness and a deep sense of loss, but also with cherished memories and love.
A Evolving Perspective on Death and Grief
Through my experiences, I have come to view funerals as exceptional places where we express our love for the deceased. Too often, we see funerals as an acknowledgment of death, which can be seen as a failure that ends a life. However, life is destined to end, and death is a natural part of the human experience. The Universe distributes death without reason, and we must face it head-on with open hearts and minds.
Funerals are the gathering of those who loved a person, and an opportunity to share our memories and stories of their life. The wails of despair, the tears, the hugs, and the choked-back words in a eulogy are all beautiful expressions of the love we share. These experiences remind us of the depth and breadth of our connections with others and the importance of cherishing every moment we have together.
From Wakes to Warnings
My relationship with funerals began early in life. My parents, unable to afford babysitters, often brought me along to the wakes and funerals of my family members and their friends. We attended a lot more wakes than formal funerals, and this early exposure shaped my understanding of these events. Over time, I became comfortable with attending funerals, even if I sometimes found wakes to be somewhat uncomfortable.
Despite this familiarity, the loss of loved ones never becomes easier to accept. The grief and sadness that come with losing someone close to you are not something you can get used to or prepare for. Personally, I found the experience of wakes to be strange and preferred not to have a traditional wake or funeral when my husband passed away. I am planning the same for myself, wanting to create a unique and meaningful experience that aligns with my personal beliefs and the type of farewell I would want for myself.
Attending and participating in funerals and wakes can be a deep and profound experience. These events give us a chance to reflect on our lives, our relationships, and the connection we share with others. Embracing these experiences can help us to live more fully, understanding that life, while precious, is temporary. Through these gatherings, we find ways to honor the memories of those we love and to connect with others in a meaningful way.
So, to answer the question: I hope funerals never become normal for me, as they are exceptional places where we see honest, open expressions of love. Each funeral, every gathering, is a reminder of the love we share and the lives we touch.