Do Narcissists Spontaneously Discard You or Do They Plan It?

Understanding the behavior of narcissists and their patterns of behavior can be a challenging task. Many individuals wonder whether narcissists suddenly discard them out of the blue or if there are deliberate actions behind their actions.

Spontaneous Discard vs. Deliberate Planning

It is important to note that some “discards” can indeed be spontaneous. Some narcissists, driven by their fear of confrontation and self-deception, might resort to a panic discard, especially when confronted with their bad behavior. They may attempt to run away or flee when challenged. It is also possible that a panic discard occurs if the confrontation is unexpected and too close to the truth.

Others might use manipulation to gain an advantage, hoping that the victim will stay available or remain a source of symptomatic pleasure. Some narcissists may even pretend to be nice and seek to manipulate the situation by making the victim feel wanted, often with a renewed interest when chased away. Their actions can be confusing and unpredictable.

Once the reality of you leaving sets in, some narcissists may experience a full-on meltdown, engaging in tantrums and insults. They might then try to manipulate the situation by using shallow charm or pity plays to lure the victim back. Such behaviors can be likened to those of stubborn and unyielding children.

Deliberate Planning and Future Targets

While spontaneous discard rates can be significant, the reality is that many narcissists do have a plan. When they think they have found a better alternative, they may deliberately start a fight or escalate an existing conflict to enforce their agenda. This often involves some form of strategic maneuvering, especially when the target feels like they have uncovered the narcissist’s true self.

If you’ve just met a narcissist and they haven’t managed to infiltrate you, they may drop you quickly. However, they might ghost you until a convenient time when they decide to try again, often when they see you as a highly desirable source of supply. They constantly assess the situation and may use your every move as a potential trigger to discard you.

Those with malignant and sadistic traits may derive pleasure from planning how to humiliate and manipulate you, ensuring that you suffer before they discard you. Some narcissists may even smile in anticipation of seeing you struggle with their schemes and tactics.

Conclusion: A Combination of Both

While spontaneous discard events can occur, the majority of narcissistic relationships involve more deliberate planning. Narcissists are often scheming and calculating, using manipulation, fear, and aggression to control the narrative of the relationship. Recognizing these patterns can help individuals understand and protect themselves from narcissistic behaviors.

Whether it is spontaneous or planned, the behavior of narcissists can be deeply damaging. Understanding the motives behind their actions can empower individuals to make informed decisions and establish healthy boundaries in their relationships.