Dining Together: Not Necessarily a Sign of Closer Bonds

It is often believed that families who share daily meals are closer and bonded. However, this is not always the case. My personal experience illustrates this point vividly.

My Family's Dinner Traditions

During my childhood, our family would have dinner together every night. However, it wasn't filled with meaningful conversations or a strong bond among us. My mom and dad generally didn't engage in much discussion, and my two older sisters were always in their own world, connected only by their close relationship with each other. I, being the youngest, often felt left out and on the sidelines.

Growing Apart and Coming Together

It wasn't until I was in my late 30s that my sisters finally invited me to join them at the ocean. This marked the first time I realized they cared about me. Sadly, it took most of their lives for them to let me feel accepted. I was always seen as the lone individual in the family and, despite my success and talent, I never felt like I belonged.

Family Dynamics and Self-Worth

My mom's way of instilling a sense of unworthiness in me impacted my self-perception. I constantly felt inadequate and avoided interacting with others unless invited. Both my sisters are now in heaven, both passing away from the same disease, Alzheimer's. Reflecting on those moments spent with them as adults, I realized how much they loved each other, something that was not transmitted to me during my formative years.

While they always told me they loved me and treated me with love, I never felt that I was good enough to be part of their circle of fun. This feeling is a direct result of my upbringing and my mother's actions.

Community and Relationships Beyond Meals

I have observed families who eat meals together every day but share little common ground or relationship outside their shared lineage. On the other hand, there are families, like my siblings and I, who, despite infrequent meal times, are much closer. This illustrates that genuine bonding and closeness are not just about the frequency of shared meals but about the interactions and the quality of those interactions.

Conclusion and Lessons Learned

While dining together every night can be beneficial, it is not a guarantee of a close family bond. The key is to ensure that there are meaningful and regular interactions within the family. It is important to focus on mutual respect, understanding, and love, rather than just the act of sitting down for dinner.

I am grateful for my sisters and the love they showed me, even though it didn't start until later in life. My story is not an uncommon one; many families struggle with dynamics and misunderstandings. It is never too late to foster stronger relationships and to ensure that every family member feels valued and loved.