Dealing with a Relationship Dilemma: Moving On or Pursuing?

Advising you on a personal relationship issue can be tricky, but here's a detailed approach to consider when you're torn between pursuing something that might not work out and letting go to find a better fit for the long run.

The Current Dilemma

You've found what you believe is the love of your life, but things aren't where you'd like them to be. She's planning a trip to Colorado for the summer, and you live in Kansas for 11 weeks with plans to attend college 2 hours away. This situation puts you in a bind, wondering what the right move is.

The Short Answer: Take Action

The straightforward advice is simple: if it's not working, be a man and move on. This cuts out any unnecessary doubts and allows you to focus on other opportunities.

The Long Answer: Consider the Details

Before you rush to a decision, there are several critical factors to evaluate:

Your Age: Considering your age is important as it affects how you see and manage relationships. Communication: Did she inform you of her plans, and did you agree? Was the decision to break up mutual? Future Plans: How far apart are you? Is she set on keeping the relationship? Long Distance Challenges: Understand the difficulties of long distance relationships. Physical intimacy and in-person connection are irreplaceable. Technology can help, but it can't completely substitute for these essential aspects.

Most importantly, recognize that a long distance relationship is rarely sustainable for 99% of the populace. People crave intimacy, and no technology or distance can replace the physical presence of a loved one.

Let Her Go for a Clean Break

Consider cutting ties with her and making a clean break. This approach ensures that if you ever want to pursue her again, you can do so on better terms. It's important to end things on a good note to maintain any potential for future communication or action.

Self-reflection is key. Understanding that you might need to look into the future and ensure your plans align might help you make a more informed decision. If she eventually returns and expresses interest, it's something to ponder. However, the chances of her doing so are very slim.

The Only Alternative: Pursue Her Relentlessly?

Another option is to go all in on pursuing her. But remember, this is a gamble with no guarantees. Delving into this path might lead to success, or it might result in another heartbreak. No matter the outcome, you'll learn something from the experience. The eventual lesson is invaluable, and either way, it will make you stronger.

Reframe Your Mindset

You may be finding it hard to believe, but she isn't the love of your life right now. This realization will become clearer as time progresses. The "love of your life" is defined by a long-term, deep-rooted relationship where you share a bond that lasts a lifetime. Simply dating someone and being in a short-term relationship can't capture this definition.

Recognize that she made a decision that reflects something more significant, indicating that she values other aspects more highly. It's crucial to accept that she wasn't your first and foremost priority. This is a difficult realization, but it's essential to move forward with the right perspective.

After this experience, you should take some time to process and overcome the emotions surrounding this relationship. Remember to look ahead and ensure your long-term plans align. This shift in perspective and strategy will help you make better decisions in the future and find the right person for you.