Why do I want to cut myself so badly? How do I stop? Will it ever fucking stop?

The idea of engaging in self-harming behaviors like cutting or picking oneself can be extremely distressing and can have serious repercussions. If you are struggling with such behaviors, it is important to recognize that you are not alone and that help is available.

Risk and Consequences

Firstly, cutting and picking can lead to significant physical harm, infections, and even hospitalization. The persistent urge to engage in these behaviors can appear to be an escape from emotional pain, but it can also have devastating psychological effects. For example, the individual may experience a temporary relief from negative emotions, but this does not address the underlying issues, leading to a vicious cycle.

Moreover, the desperation to stop these behaviors is often met with the fear of consequences. 'Don't do that buddy or else they take you to the hospital and force you to take brain damaging meds,' warns one possible consequence. This can be a frightening prospect, as the stigma around mental health and therapy is still prevalent in many societies.

It's worth noting that while some may suggest turning to a healthcare provider as a last resort, they can also lead to forced treatment. Mentioning these behaviors to someone, even in a non-threatening manner, can result in a call to the police, increasing the risk of physical and emotional trauma.

Counseling and Therapy: A Path to Change

So, if you are seeking to stop these behaviors, a more viable and effective option is to consult with a professional counselor or therapist. These mental health professionals are experienced in dealing with various harmful habits and can provide tailored solutions to help you manage and overcome these behaviors.

One effective strategy is to identify and address the underlying emotional triggers that may be driving these urges. Many individuals who engage in self-harm or foot-picking report experiencing intense feelings of stress, sadness, anxiety, or frustration that they may not know how to express otherwise. A therapist can work with you to develop healthier coping mechanisms and address these emotions in a constructive manner.

In addition, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a widely used technique that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. By challenging and reframing the distorted beliefs that contribute to these habits, you can learn to replace them with more positive and adaptive ways of thinking and reacting.

It's important to note that therapy is a collaborative process. The therapist will work with you to set realistic goals, provide support, and help you develop a plan to achieve these goals. While progress may not happen overnight, many individuals find that with consistent effort and support, they are able to make significant improvements in their ability to manage and overcome harmful habits.

Taking the First Step: Seeking Help on a Rural Farm

Another potential option, as suggested in the given text, is to 'get busy' on a rural farm. This could be a metaphor for engaging in a different, more peaceful and fulfilling activity instead of focusing on harmful behaviors. By finding a new, meaningful activity that you enjoy, you can shift your focus away from harmful habits and engage in something more positive and constructive.

Rural farm work, for instance, can be physically demanding yet rewarding. It provides a sense of accomplishment, connection to nature, and a break from the stressors of urban life. By dedicating time to this activity, you can create a new routine and find joy in something other than the harmful behaviors. Additionally, the physical activity can help release endorphins, which can improve your mood and reduce negative emotions.

It's crucial to remember that taking action is the first step towards change, but it is just the beginning. Consistent effort, support, and patience are necessary to make lasting changes. Whether you choose to seek professional help, engage in new activities, or both, know that you are taking important steps towards a healthier and happier life.