The Covert Narcissist: A Lurking Threat Post-Discarding

Covert narcissists are complex and often deceiving individuals. When you discard them or attempt to distance yourself, they may not only try to win you back but will also devise strategies to control and manipulate you for revenge. This toxic pattern of behavior is crucial to understand, especially if you have experienced incidents of narcissistic abuse.

Patterns of Reappearance and Betrayal

Covert narcissists often employ deceptive tactics to reestablish contact. They might make promises of change and send enticing signals of renewed affection, with the intention of reestablishing control over you. However, their ultimate goal is usually to take their revenge and exact their slights.

Their manipulative nature is evident through subtle hints and actions designed to sow confusion and discord. They may even craft fake profiles to mislead and gather information about you. For instance, a covert narcissist might create a family profile with a resemblance to an ex-partner, using it to gain your trust while secretly collecting valuable personal data.

Learning About Covert Narcissists: A Therapeutic Path

To navigate the treacherous waters of covert narcissism, it is essential to become well-versed in their tactics. By researching and understanding them, you can better protect yourself and recognize the signs of an impending comeback. This awareness can also serve as a therapeutic tool, allowing you to reclaim your emotional wholeness.

In my current experience, I have watched a covert narcissist ingeniously use social media to establish contact. One particular instance involves a fake profile bearing a resemblance to an ex-partner. The profile was set up months ago, with a single follower who coincidentally matches the timeline of when the account was created. The kicker? The profile matches a family member from the same small town in New Jersey, where my family is from.

The Lure and The Desire for Revenge

When covert narcissists attempt to reestablish contact, their primary objective is to regain control and manipulate you into a position where they can exact revenge. They might make grand promises of change, offering to quit drinking or showing sudden displays of emotional healing. However, these actions are often pretexts for their underlying desire to assert dominance.

An example of this is when a covert narcissist uses the phrase, "We can get back together now," under the guise of assured transformation. The disguised intent is to take advantage of your vulnerabilities and emotions, leading to a repeat of the toxic cycle. Without addressing and healing the trauma caused by such patterns, the cycle is likely to repeat itself.

While their behavior can be alarming and intense, it is crucial to recognize that change is possible. Emotional healing and self-improvement are ongoing processes that require dedication and support. The path to overcoming covert narcissistic behavior is unique for each individual and must be approached with patience and understanding.

Conclusion and Moving Forward

Understanding the deceptive behavior of covert narcissists is vital for anyone who has experienced or is currently facing such situations. By learning about their tactics and developing strategies to protect yourself, you can navigate the process of emotional healing and move towards a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Remember, the journey to recovery is always within your reach, and with the right tools and support, you can break free from the grip of covert narcissism.

Key Points: Covert narcissists often replay toxic patterns after discarding. They use deception to regain control and seek revenge. Learning about them can be therapeutic and protective. Every person's journey to healing is unique and requires self-care.