Choosing the Right Refuge: Women-Only or Cisgender Women-Only?
When it comes to creating or accessing a safe space, the choice between a refuge that is "for women only" and one that is "for cisgender women only" can be a deeply personal and nuanced one. The decision is often influenced by a complex interplay of personal values, beliefs, and the need for safety and acceptance.
Why "For Women Only" is Preferable
One of the primary reasons for choosing a refuge that explicitly states "for women only" is the trust it builds between the organization and its beneficiaries. Women may be hesitant to stay at a refuge that excludes trans women, as the exclusion may indicate a larger pattern of bigotry and discrimination. For example, organizations like the Salvation Army have been criticized for their policies and practices, which can make individuals feel less safe and represented in such environments.
Moreover, a refuge that is open to women of all gender identities and expressions is more likely to be inclusive of minority religions and the LGBTQ community. This inclusivity allows for a broader range of women to feel welcome and supported. Many women might fear attending a place that requires church attendance to receive services, as this can create additional barriers and reduce the sense of safety and acceptance that is essential for healing and recovery.
Refuges for Domestic Violence Victims
The discussion around women-only refuges also intersects with the issue of safety for domestic violence victims. It is important to note that shelters for victims of domestic violence can sometimes have policies that exclude children, and there is no reason to believe that excluding men, transgender, or cisgender women would be beneficial in such contexts. Domestic violence can affect all genders, and it is crucial to have spaces that are inclusive and supportive of all victims, regardless of their gender identity.
When someone is a victim of discrimination, the last thing they need is a refuge that also discriminates. Therefore, it is essential to choose a space that aligns with one's values and guarantees a welcoming and safe environment.
Practical Considerations and Preferences
Practically speaking, one might choose the refuge with the shorter line, but the underlying issue is the fear mongering that often surrounds such debates. Many of these discussions are tactics designed to divide people rather than foster unity and provide support to those in need.
For individuals who refuse to be called "cis," it can create a difficult situation if they are required to use the same space as trans women. However, creating a space that is safe and welcoming for all women, regardless of their gender identity, ensures that everyone feels valued and supported. Sometimes, people's hatred and fear can create their own hell, and choosing a refuge that aligns with one's values is crucial for personal well-being.
When it comes down to it, I am uninterested in the care of those who offer it so conditionally, unless it is truly a matter of life or death. If being trans is the only line that this refuge draws, there are likely more hidden exclusions and caveats. It is reasonable to expect that such spaces might have other hidden criteria that are not openly disclosed.
Ultimately, I will always feel safer and more welcome around trans women than I do around those who hate them. A space where I know trans women will also feel safer and more welcome is a priority for me. Trust and inclusivity are fundamental aspects of creating a refuge that provides true support and healing.
Therefore, in most cases, women-only refuges are often the safer and more inclusive option. Groups that are bigoted against one group are often more likely to be bigoted against others as well. A refuge that excludes trans women is unlikely to treat other minorities well. The safest and most accepting option is an inclusive space that values and supports all women.