Why Were or Are You a Stay-at-Home Mother?
Joana's Story
Joana's journey to becoming a stay-at-home mother was a result of a combination of personal values, professional stumbling blocks, and the unique needs of her children. Her story highlights the multifaceted reasons behind choosing this lifestyle.
Adapting to a Neurodivergent Child
Joana was diagnosed with autism when she was a child. This experience shaped her understanding of the challenges faced by individuals who are neurodivergent and their families. When her son was diagnosed level three autistic at around the age of one, she recognized the need for specialized attention and care. The medical and educational communities frequently failed to meet the needs of children like her son, due to funding constraints and other external factors. In this light, Joana made the decision to take an active role in her son's development and learning.
Importance of Family Over Career
Apart from her personal understanding of autism, Joana's decision to become a stay-at-home mother stemmed from her belief that her children were more important than a high-paying career. This shift in priorities allowed her to provide the nurturing and care her son needed without the pressure of job responsibilities. "I am so happy I made this choice," Joana reflects. "They are grown now and are great human beings. It was really worth it."
Protecting Children from Bullying
Joana's reason to stay at home also emerged from a desire to protect her daughter from emotional and psychological trauma. At the age of 6, her stepdaughter faced significant challenges at school and daycare, including daily panic attacks and bullying. While Joana was laid off from work, she prioritized staying at home to address these issues. Her efforts included enrolling her daughter in therapy, building her self-esteem, and finding a suitable alternative to day care. Fifteen years later, Joana continues to stay home with her younger children, balancing her professional aspirations with her responsibilities towards her family.
Latchkey Kid Becomes a Stay-at-Home Mother
Joana's history as a “latchkey kid” in the 1980s prepared her for the challenges and responsibilities of raising her own children. As the eldest, she cared for her younger siblings, learning valuable life skills and responsibilities at a young age. This experience instilled in her a natural inclination towards the role of a stay-at-home mother. In her own words, Joana wanted to give her children the opportunities she didn't have, and provide a nurturing environment where they could thrive.
Responsibility and Satisfaction
Joana chose to become a stay-at-home mother with her husband's blessing, dedicating herself to raising her children and providing them with the support and guidance they needed. Despite the sacrifices, Joana is grateful for the non-monetary benefits that came with this choice. Her children are now grown and acknowledge the positive impact of this decision. "Best decision ever," Joana concludes, highlighting the emotional and developmental benefits of staying home.