What Could Be the Reason My Dad’s Ex-Girlfriend Made Me Swallow Soap Every Morning?

As a young child in grade 1, I endured a dark and terrifying ritual that has left deep psychological scars. Every morning, my father’s ex-girlfriend would force me to swallow soap before I left for school. At 21, these traumatic memories still haunt me, and I can’t help but wonder about her intent.

Understanding the Abuser

She was mean to you, jealous of you, and showed a clear desire to harm you, little by little. This person subjected you to a form of psychological and physical abuse, making you sick repeatedly. The act of having to ingest soap every morning is not only distressing but also highly harmful to one's physical health, as soap is a caustic detergent that can cause severe damage to the digestive system.

Reporting and Seeking Justice

It is imperative that you consider legal action, as she is a child abuser and should have been reported and punished accordingly. Contacting a lawyer may help in prosecuting her. Additionally, professional counseling is essential for your well-being. If she can be found, she might be forced to pay for your therapy. It’s important to prioritize your health and seek the support needed to heal.

Explaining Her Motives

It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why she resorted to such a cruel and harmful behavior. Her actions were likely rooted in a deep need for attention and admiration, rather than any actual concern for you as a child. A possible explanation could be that she suffered from Münchausen syndrome by proxy, which is now known as factitious disorder imposed on another. In this condition, a person causes or feigns symptoms of illness in another individual who is under their care, usually resulting from a need for sympathy or attention. She might have used your illness as a means to draw attention towards herself.

Another possibility is that she was simply trying to manipulate your father into staying home or that she had a delusional belief about her duty to 'care' for a sick child, which ironically made her the sick one. It’s also possible that she was an evil and vile person who enjoyed a feeling of power over others. As we grow older, we seek to understand the origins of such bizarre events, which have shaped us into the adults we are today. Since your father is the only one who might truly know the kind of person she was, it’s worth asking him more questions about her motives and actions.

Coming to Terms with the Past

You were a helpless six-year-old child in a terrible situation, and it is not your fault that you were subjected to this treatment. Now that you are older, it is crucial to find a way to put this traumatic experience behind you. You have already experienced too much through no fault of your own, and it is a blessing that you are now in a position to seek help and healing. Trust in the healing process and the support that is available to you. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and work towards a future where you can live without the shadows of your past constantly looming over you.