Introduction to the Challenges of Being a Female in Marriage

As a 28-year-old woman, society often expects me to get married, yet the process of finding a suitable partner can be fraught with challenges and frustrations. Arrange marriages, in particular, present an unpredictable landscape where mutual compatibility between individuals and their families is a constant struggle. The pressure of constant questioning from friends and relatives regarding my marital status is exhausting, and my response remains the same: "Only God knows."

The Struggles in Marriage Conversations

Engaging in conversations about marriage with potential partners has become increasingly uncomfortable. The following experiences highlight the layers of judgment and unreasonable expectations that come with these interactions.

Drinking and Socialization

One of the most frequent judgments revolves around my social life. If I choose to indulge in a drink, I am criticized for it. Conversely, if I do not, I am perceived as overly reserved or unsocial. This double-edged sword of judgment poses a significant challenge in my personal relationships.

Makeup and Appearance

My choice to wear makeup is often met with comments about my appearance, while choosing not to wear it can result in negative judgments. In essence, my external expression of femininity is constantly being scrutinized. Both paths are fraught with criticism, leaving me to navigate these judgments with a delicate balance.

Professional Success and Income

The financial aspect of my life is another domain where societal expectations intersect with personal life. Earning a good salary is often perceived as an indication of arrogance or dominance, whereas not earning enough may prompt perceptions of aimlessness or lack of ambition. The dichotomy of success in the eyes of society is a challenging reality to face.

Personal and Romantic Past

The nature of my past relationships also influences how I am perceived by society. Having a past relationship can lead to labels like being characterless, while not having one might suggest a lack of social skills or inability to form meaningful connections.

Personal Choices and Independence

Simple choices such as traveling or interacting with male colleagues can come under scrutiny. Traveling is sometimes seen as irresponsible, while staying at home is perceived as overly sheltered. Similarly, my interactions with male colleagues are often questioned, with the expectation that I should appear more reserved or less interested in men.

Education and Aspirations

Education and personal aspirations further complicate the narrative. Pursuing higher education and dreams can be seen as a lack of respect for elders, despite the understanding that education fosters respect and the ability to analyze situations critically. It is a paradox when society values continued learning but also demands adherence to traditional expectations.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Being a woman in an orthodox family, navigating the complexities of marriage presents numerous challenges. These challenges are not unique to one gender; rather, they stem from the intricate interplay of societal expectations and personal choices. It is crucial for open dialogue and mutual understanding to address these issues rather than resorting to defensiveness. Let us strive for a society where every individual can find personal fulfillment and happiness without fear of judgment or criticism.

Note: This article aims to share personal experiences and insights, not to generalize or blame one gender. It seeks to foster a deeper understanding of the complexities involved in the marriage process for women.