Can I Get Married Before a Wedding: What You Need to Know
If you are considering getting married before the actual big wedding, you are not alone. Many couples have utilized pre-wedding marriage ceremonies for various reasons, such as legal benefits or financial practicality. In this article, we will explore the options for getting married before the wedding and provide guidance on what you can and can't do.
What Constitutes a Wedding?
It's important to understand that getting married is the legal act of two individuals joining together in matrimony. Therefore, getting married before a wedding would be the legal process of obtaining a marriage license and having a ceremony, which is essentially the same as a wedding. The main event, the wedding, includes the ceremony and the reception.
For example, Alex and I had to go to Canada to get married legally in 2004 when same-sex couples were not allowed to marry in Ohio. We received our marriage certificate, which was the legal part of the ceremony. We then had our grand wedding and reception the day after, considering that date as our anniversary since that was when we celebrated our love and commitment with our friends and family.
Options for a Small Pre-Wedding Marriage Ceremony
If you are asking if it’s acceptable to have a small private ceremony before your main wedding event, the answer is yes, you can do that. This can often be referred to as a vow renewal or a commitment ceremony.
Many couples, especially in the wake of the 2020 pandemic, had to make significant adjustments to their wedding plans. Governments issued bans on mass gatherings, which led to many couples opting for a small and private ceremony to secure their legal marriage. These ceremonies were essentially a pre-wedding marriage ceremony or a vow renewal to ensure their legal status. Then, they postponed the big celebration until they could safely gather again.
While some couples postponed their entire wedding, many continued to plan the basic essential elements, such as getting married, even if they could only host a small number of attendees. Once the ban was lifted, they were able to plan and host their large weddings, often with the satisfaction of knowing they were already legally married.
Practical Reasons for a Small Pre-Wedding Ceremony
There are various practical reasons why couples might choose to have a small pre-wedding marriage ceremony:
To obtain legal benefits such as employer-provided health insurance or tax benefits like filing as "married filing jointly."
To ensure they are legally married, especially in areas where same-sex marriage was not yet legal.
To satisfy legal or administrative requirements, such as relocation or adopting a child.
To provide a more intimate and personal ceremony before the larger celebration.
Even before the pandemic, I had a few couples who chose this option. These couples were engaged and were planning a big wedding for the following year, but they decided to have a small legal ceremony to secure their legal status and enjoy the benefits of being married earlier.
Tips for those considering a small pre-wedding marriage ceremony:
Ensure you have the correct documentation and follow the legal requirements in your area.
Select an officiant who can assist with the paperwork and ensure the ceremony is legally binding.
Plan a simple and meaningful ceremony that resonates with your personal values and beliefs.
Consider having a small, private celebration immediately after the ceremony to start the festivities.
By understanding the nuances of pre-wedding marriage ceremonies, couples can make informed decisions about their wedding plans and enjoy the benefits of being legally married before the big celebration. Whether it's for legal, financial, or personal reasons, a small pre-wedding ceremony can be a significant step in a couple's journey.