Can Covert Narcissists Ever Change?
Others may hold a glimmer of hope, believing that with profound self-awareness, a covert narcissist might confront the very core of their self-image. However, is this glimmer just an illusion, a flickering candle in a vast unyielding darkness of unaltered traits? Let's delve deeper into this complex question.
Understanding Covert Narcissism
The term 'covert narcissist' refers to individuals who exhibit traits of narcissistic personality disorder but do so in a more subtle and internalized manner. Unlike their more overt counterparts, covert narcissists mask their grandiosity, need for admiration, and sensitivity to criticism.
Myths About Covert Narcissists
There is the misconception that a covert narcissist may change once they recognize the detrimental impact of their behavior. However, this is often not the case. Many covert narcissists, like their counterparts, lack the introspection and self-awareness needed to recognize and address their destructive traits. Instead, they may adapt their behavior temporarily when faced with someone who holds a mirror to their true selves, but the underlying narcissistic core remains.
The Hard Truth About Change
It is important to note that 'change' is not something a covert narcissist can do on command. Their behaviors and patterns are deeply ingrained and develop around each victim they encounter. It is unrealistic to expect a predator, instinctually adapted to manipulate and exploit, to change their survival skills. A narcissist, whether covert or overt, is a narcissist and will always be one.
Factors Influencing Change
While it is rare for a covert narcissist to change, several factors can come into play:
Self-Awareness
Change is often contingent on self-awareness. If a covert narcissist recognizes their behavior and its impact on others, they may be more open to change. This awareness is rare but not impossible.
Treatment and Therapy
Professional help, particularly therapy focused on personality disorders, can facilitate change. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and schema therapy are often effective in addressing underlying issues.
Motivation and Support
The individual's motivation plays a crucial role. If they genuinely want to improve their relationships and emotional health, they may be more likely to engage in the necessary work. A supportive environment, including friends, family, or support groups, can also encourage positive changes.
Gradual Process and Limitations
Change is typically gradual and may not be linear. There may be setbacks along the way, and patience is essential. Some individuals may have deeply ingrained personality traits that are resistant to change. In such cases, treatment may focus more on managing behaviors rather than changing the underlying personality.
Common Beliefs Debunked
While many believe that covert narcissists can change, several myths persist:
Myth: A covert narcissist changes when they recognize the impact of their behavior.Fact: Self-awareness is rare, and their core traits are deeply ingrained. Myth: Covert narcissists can adapt their behavior to be more 'nice' when needed.
Fact: These behaviors are often temporary and not sustainable. Myth: Treatment can completely change a covert narcissist's personality.
Fact: Treatment can help manage behaviors, but the underlying personality may be resistant to change.
The Bottom Line
While change is possible for covert narcissists, it requires self-awareness, motivation, and often professional support. The process can be complex and may vary significantly from person to person. It is crucial to approach this topic with an understanding of the challenges and limitations involved.