Breaking the Cycle: How to Support a Friend Who Self-Harms and Address Your Own

In dealing with someone who self-harms, it is crucial to take care of yourself first. This critical emphasis on self-care before extending help to others mirrors the airline announcement, where passengers should prioritize their safety and well-being before assisting others. This article aims to provide guidance and coping strategies for both those who self-harm and those who find themselves supporting a friend who does. We will explore the importance of therapy, practical coping mechanisms, and the significance of seeking help through local resources.

The Significance of Self-Care

Before diving into how to help your friend, it is imperative to address your own self-harm issues. It is a common misconception that you must be 'strong' to help others. However, just as airlines instruct passengers to secure their own oxygen masks first, you need to prioritize your own well-being to effectively support someone else. Ignoring your own mental health can lead to burnout and undermine your ability to be a supportive friend. By taking care of yourself, you can offer genuine assistance and be more effective in your support.

Seeking Professional Help

Therapy is a cornerstone of addressing self-harm. Engaging with a therapist can help uncover the underlying reasons for the behavior, laying a foundation for healing. It is important to find a therapist who clicks with you. If the first therapist does not feel like 'clicking,' it is okay to seek help elsewhere. Many individuals need to try several therapists before finding the right fit. This is completely normal and does not reflect any flaw in your character.

Practical Coping Strategies

If immediate access to therapy is not available, there are several practical coping strategies that can be employed:

Ice Cube Technique: Whenever you feel the urge or strong emotions, grab an ice cube. Squeeze it until you feel the pain. This provides a physical sensation that mimics self-harm without the harmful and lasting effects. Sensory Distraction: Engage your senses to distract from immediate feelings. Start by identifying 5 things around you that you can see. Describe them in your mind. Next, identify 4 things you can touch and describe the sensation. Then, 3 things you can hear. Follow with 2 things you can smell, and finally, 1 thing you can taste. Grab some water, juice, or a safe, non-harmful food item. This multi-sensory approach can help divert your attention from distressing emotions. Breathing Exercises: When anxiety or emotions persist, try a simple breathing exercise. Inhale slowly while counting to 3, hold for 1 second, and exhale slowly while counting to 6. Repeat this cycle 5 to 10 times. This technique can help relax your muscles and body, shifting your focus away from immediate emotional states.

Seeking Additional Help

If these strategies do not provide sufficient relief, it is important to reach out for additional support. Local helplines can offer safe spaces to discuss your feelings and may provide local resources to connect you with professional help. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Conclusion

Addressing self-harm is a multifaceted journey that requires a combination of self-care, professional support, and practical coping strategies. By taking the first step to address your own needs, you can better support your friend and promote healing in both of your lives. Hang in there, and remember that help is available and there is hope for healing and transformation.