Breaking Free from Cultural Chains: My Journey to the West

I remember the day I made the decision to leave my native Sri Lanka and come to Canada. It wasn't because of any grand scheme or rebellion, but rather a need to pursue my passion and be free from cultural constraints. Growing up in Sri Lanka in the late 60s to mid 80s, I was a restless, curious, and enthusiastic young girl. However, societal norms and cultural expectations restricted me from freely expressing myself and pursuing my interests.

Traditional Expectations in Sri Lanka

In the traditional Sri Lankan culture of my youth, girls were scrutinized and exhorted to be 'restrained.' This implied refraining from any overt displays of energy, enthusiasm, or physical movement, as well as avoiding overly expressive or adventurous behavior. These traits, such as having a zest for life, asking probing questions, and investigations of new ideas, were considered unseemly for a woman to exhibit. Any girl who dared to show these attributes was labeled as 'restless,' a term that was clearly not a compliment.

My Restless Spirit

Despite these societal expectations, I was forever coming up with new ideas, joining clubs and activities, and staying up late reading and observing the night sky. Astronomy captivated me, and I started an astronomy club at my high school, attended lectures by visiting American astrophysicists, and asked them questions after their talks. Being outspoken and adventurous in a public setting was deemed 'unrestrained' behavior, and it brought me grief.

Societal Scrutiny and Academic Challenges

Unfortunately, my teachers found my ‘unrestrained’ behavior and my enthusiasm for science and astronomy challenging. Any involvement in science clubs and quiz bowls was met with verbal humiliation, and I was downvoted from high-ranking leadership positions. My parents, however, played a crucial role in supporting me and encouraging my curiosity. They gathered funds to send me to the United States to pursue my interests where such qualities were celebrated and rewarded.

The Contrast with American Society

Living in the United States was eye-opening. Parents there hired consultants to craft compelling college applications for their children, highlighting their involvement in various activities. Efforts to get girls involved in STEM fields seemed ironically familiar, having caused me significant distress in my childhood. I used to be scolded for my laughter, which was also seen as 'unrestrained.'

Positive Impact of My Grandfather

Luckily, my upbringing was also influenced by my maternal grandfather, a retired professor of Zoology, whose conversations revolved around extinct animals, the wonders of the natural world, and ancient civilizations. His leisure-time reading in the original Latin and ancient Greek further fueled my curiosity. My parents and grandparents encouraged me to think critically and read widely, which formed my iconoclastic thought patterns.

A Different Worldview

Now, reflecting on my upbringing, I understand that this was an entirely different universe of discourse from my peers. The constant indoctrination of modest behavior and discussions about appropriate jewelry and skin complexion did not resonate with me. My parents and grandparents did not see my upbringing through the lens of future marital prospects; they simply trained me to be clean, polite, and responsible, but that was the extent of it.

The culture that glorifies and scrutinizes future bridal prospects from infancy, with meticulous attention to every detail of behavior and appearance, is one that I find it nearly impossible to relate to. Societies that should not concern themselves with the future prospects of young girls need not wonder about the path their lives will take. It's a relief to be free from such cultural chains and to live in a world that values creativity and passion.

My experiences have taught me that breaking free from cultural chains can be both freeing and rewarding. It's about living a life that is true to one's self and pursuing one's passions without worry of societal judgment. My journey to the West may have started with a scholarship, but it was a path towards self-discovery and a life lived on my own terms.