Admiration or Envy? The Inner Workings of Celebrity Worship and Body Image

Have you ever felt envious of a celebrity, not because of their fame or their achievements, but because of a characteristic that you wish you had?

The Psychology Behind Envy

Psychologically, envy can arise when one is unable to relate to or feel genuinely grateful for another individual's positive experiences or achievements. This is often a result of a critical mindset and an inability to appreciate what one already has. When individuals focus more on criticism than gratitude, jealousy becomes a common experience.

A Personal Story of Envy and Body Image

For me, envy has frequently stemmed from a person's physical appearance, particularly when it comes to celebrities. Occasionally, I find myself extremely jealous of someone like a muscular male celebrity in the picture below, not because of his fame or any negative aspects of his career, but because of rumors that he is in a relationship with someone who, to me, exudes confidence and poise.

Struggles with Body Image

My relationship with my body has long been turbulent. Since the fourth grade, I have struggled with insecurities, particularly about my stomach and legs. Even in times when I appeared to be at a normal weight and had a healthy lifestyle, I was never truly content with myself.

My journey with food and body image began as early as the sixth grade, with failed attempts at starvation that ultimately lasted much longer than anticipated. A traumatic moment—a sarcastic comment from a boy in seventh grade—triggered a two-month period of severe calorie deprivation. I survived on minimal sustenance and would often lie to my teachers and parents about what I was eating. To this day, this pattern lingers, and I still find myself tempted to return to a cycle of restrictive eating.

My current struggle involves anxiety and binge eating, where stress leads to excessive food consumption. Looking at myself in the mirror before a shower often fills me with distress and desire to cry, making me wish for acceptance and a healthy relationship with my body. I am not seeking to love my body, but to accept it for what it is. Gaining or losing weight would be to feel better, and I am committed to doing it the right way.

Needing to Accept Oneself

I am envious of individuals who can look in the mirror and confidently say, 'I am okay with that,' whether they like it or not. The ability to accept one's physical appearance is a gift I wish I had, and it drives me to strive for personal growth and self-acceptance.

Reflecting on my past, I look back with a mixture of admiration and envy for my older self, who had the perseverance to embark on such an extreme path. While the current me may lack that drive, the journey for self-acceptance and growth continues. Despite the challenges, I am determined to overcome them and improve my relationship with myself.

In the end, whether we admire a celebrity for their achievements or envy their physical appearance, our journey towards self-love, acceptance, and personal growth is an ongoing process. It requires patience, perseverance, and a willingness to embrace our unique selves.