Addressing Uneven Therapist Treatment: When Time is Not Equal

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your therapist is engaged with a patient for over 15 minutes into your appointment, but still ends on time due to the next scheduled appointment? This scenario can be unsettling and may lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and unworthiness. Here, we explore how to address this issue effectively and maintain a healthy patient-therapist relationship.

Understanding the Discomfort

It's natural to feel disappointed when this happens, especially if you feel that you are being "short-changed." In a therapeutic setting, time is not merely a commodity but a space for healing and growth. When this balance is disrupted, it can affect the quality of the therapy session. Here's what you need to know about your feelings and how to address them.

Your Perspective

From a patient's standpoint, it's common to feel slighted, as if you're not the therapist's favorite or most valued client. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Here are some steps to analyze and address this situation:

Assess the Facts: Did you have more to discuss, even if it felt rushed at the end? How often do sessions usually run a minute or two over, or start early? Consider the Therapist's Total Time Investment: How much time has the therapist spent beyond sessions consulting with other doctors, checking in between, or responding to messages? Reflect on Your Own Needs: If you have specific needs that would benefit from extra time, discussing these with your therapist can help manage expectations more effectively.

Communication is Key

The core of a good therapeutic relationship lies in open and honest communication. If similar situations happen frequently, or if it consistently bothers you, it's important to bring it up in the next session. Your therapist is there to support you and understands that set boundaries are essential.

Therapists may sometimes feel an urgency during a previous session that they couldn't ignore, but it's crucial for them to make up for any time discrepancies if it impacts the current client. Your therapist might not always be aware of their impact on your experience, so bringing it to their attention can help them adjust their approach.

Practicing Difficult Conversations

Taking the initiative to discuss this in a therapeutic environment can also provide an opportunity for you to practice difficult conversations outside of your personal life. This is particularly beneficial because therapists are trained to provide a safe space for these communications.

For instance, one patient experienced the therapist being 15 minutes late and staying past the scheduled time into the evening, allowing them to share previously unspoken thoughts. While both scenarios were not ideal, they highlight the importance of flexibility and mutual respect in a therapeutic relationship. Always remember that a therapist must balance the needs of each client while maintaining their own work life as well.

Conclusion

In essence, if scheduling discrepancies occur, it's important to communicate your feelings with your therapist openly and honestly. By doing so, you reaffirm your value and contribute to creating a more balanced and effective therapeutic environment. Whether it is a one-time occurrence or a regular issue, taking the initiative to discuss it can lead to a stronger and more rewarding therapeutic relationship.